It was not good for a man to be alone, I will make him a
helper, one fit for him. These were the words of our creator. The issue of
marriage is one that in part disproves the theory of evolution. If Man truly
evolved, and evolution happens through chance caused by physical factors at
certain times, how then can we explain womanhood and its well defined features
which fits manhood. The soft voice of our ladies, their caring nature, the
ability to get pregnant, their tendency to care more for their children and
many more are all features sought by men in a woman before marriage. This
compatibility should not be found between human beings if we truly evolved,
rather it is the creative mind of our creator in all beauty brought us(man and
woman to be). This is the only possible way to define the wonderful
compatibility between man and woman.
Marriage is God’s institution, he alone was the founder and
we are made the beneficiaries. Marriage is a pleasant gift worthy of our
earthly existence. He saw man’s weakness and he gave him a helper. There are
times when my cousin who is twenty seven years old will come home very hungry,
too hungry to enter the kitchen to cook. He usually asks me to see if there is
any in my house…….”you will not go and marry” is always my reply. The role of
women in marriages is not only subjected to kitchen work but for the whole
growth of the family. The illustration is to show a little reason why God deemed
it fit to provide a female for our first father. The story continues; sometimes
I will also have nothing in the house because of my little fear for the
kitchen…. And this meant both of us slept hungry or we ate bread with soft drinks
(those from Nigeria will understand this type food is for people who are
Kitchen shy or have no time to cook). God made the male to behave like males
and the female like females. My cousin expected me to cook where as I expected
him to cook. Had it been one of us had a wife, food would have not been a
problem. Genesis 2:18,22-24”And the Lord God said,’ it
is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to
him……then the rib the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and he
brought her to the man.. Then Adam said; this is now bone of my bones and flesh
of my flesh; she will be called woman for she was taken out of man.’ Therefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they
shall become one flesh.
Marriage is more than
the ceremony we witness, it is more than the paper works and all the other
traditions that follows marriages. The bible said the man and the woman will
become one flesh, a sacred union ordained by God. It is not to be played with
for it was our creator who started it in Eden, He blessed this institution and
gave Adam and Eve the authority to stay in union, becoming one flesh. Mathew 19:4-6 “ And he answered them saying “have you not
heard he who made them at the beginning made them male and female, ‘ and said
for this reason man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one
flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let no man separate.” The
words of Jesus echoed strong in the ears of the Pharisees and the pressing
crowd, and then it pierced through the ages to our generation. Jesus repeated
the words of Genesis 2 but added a stronger point to it. What God has joined
together let no man put asunder, not even the husband or the wife can separate
this union. Marriage is like a room with only one door and no window, once one
enters the door is locked and the key destroyed. Yet the beauties the room
afforded are supposed to keep the one who enters entangled in happiness until the
end of his life. In fact the one inside the room will definitely not want to
leave the room even when the door is opened for him. Christ instructs us to
fear God through staying steadfastly in the union which the father joined,
never to separate from it for it not of us to do so.
The sacredness of Marriage is written in many places in the
bible. Ephesians 5:28,29 “so husbands ought to love
their wives as their own body, he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one
ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does
the church. Husbands are instructed to give their lives for their wives
just as Christ gave his life for us. The legalism of marriage is one the
heavens sanctions and respects. It is Christ who looks on with a smile when we
keep true to God’s union. He likens his love for us as to a husband to his
wife. This is to show us how inseparable marriage is, just as we are from him. Ephesians 5:25-27, “ husbands love your wives just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself for her, that he may sanctify and cleanse her
with the washing of water by the word.
Husbands are the heads; their love should be unshaking, ever
willing to give themselves up for their wives. The beauty of every marriage comes
from a father who neither seek other women nor care less for the wife. It is
the husband who through words and actions of love will direct his wife towards
the course our heavenly father planned for them. As humans we are bent to
make mistakes, yet as Christ the husband
of the church took it upon himself to redeem his own, husbands should also do
the same, forgiving and guiding their wives.
A husbands who
understand women are weak and brings himself low to accommodate and direct her
will enjoy the sweetness of Marriage.1 PeterPeter3 :7 “
you husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and
honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wives are partners
in receiving God’s blessings. And if you don’t treat her as you should , your
prayers will not get ready answers.” when there is disaccord in marriage
there is a disconnection between the partners and God. How can a man pray for
God’s favor when a part of him (the woman) is against such favor? Surely such
prayer will not be answered. Can one say yes and also say no? We take marriage
so lightly that we fail to see the oneness in the husband and wife. If one say
no and the other says yes then they have said nothing, it is required we must
agree to ourselves before we succeed.
Women are requested by God to submit to their husbands. They
are the weaker vessels, made from man. Ephesians
5:22-28 “you wives submit to your husbands leardership in the same way you
submit to the Lord. For a husband is in charge of his wife just as Christ is in
charge of his body the church……so you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything just as the
church obeys Christ.” First we note the comparison of obeying the
husband likened to obeying God. This does not mean ordering around in the part
of the husband. As we enjoy the fellowship we have in Christ, enjoying being obedient
to Christ so should a wife. And the husband must cherish and love his wife
(Pamper her, show her love that no other man on earth can envisage) just like
Christ did to us. Obeying the husband might sound tedious to young women who
are yet to marry. When there is unimaginable LOVE existing between the husband
and the wife, there will be no need to obey for the wife in love will do that
which pleases the husband.
Husbands that are not abusive or beat their wives prospers.
Beating a woman is the weakest act a man can do. She was gotten from you and
sure will be a weaker product than the original. Building obedience through regular
beating of your wife will not bring the desired effect.. The Bible frowned at
it. God hates it and we must likewise hate it. Colossians 3:19 “ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” If
you are angered by your wife, God instructs you to immediately settle your
misunderstanding in a more loving way. In fact your tone of voice and your
manner of approaching your wife during caution can bring her to repent in
tears. Point out to her how you have been trying to keep her happy. Show her
the sacrifices you have been making each day for her, and if need be bring a
gift to her. It sounds hard to do but if this is done in a voice of love, your
wife will surely repent of her sins. Yes your grudge against her may put you
off but can you be angry with yourself for a day? You are one with her and only
when the body is together and well will there be joy. Ephesians
4:26 “if you are angry don’t sin by nursing your grudge, don’t let the sun go
down with you still angry.” This
means you must settle every disagreement with your spouse the same day,
remember the sun must not go down while we still angered.
The most heinous crime in marriage is infidelity. Marriage
should be guarded strongly to avoid this sin creeping in. God distastes
infidelity and it is only that which can bring a marriage to its end. (Wives,
husbands be careful), for infidelity is the only reason for a man to divorce
his wife. Infidelity is not only a sin but a crime for you have stolen from
your neighbor his most treasured gift, a gift from God’s throne. Mathew 5:23 “ for I tell you that anyone who divorces his
wife except for marital unfaithfulness causes her to become an adulteress, and
anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery”. Then we must
see the marriage bed a thing holy and dedicated unto God. Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be marriage be held in honour
among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually
immoral and adulterous.” Marriage is God’s gift and he guards it
jealously, it should be seen as a thing of honor and not to be ridiculed. The
last two commandments of God are dedicated to marriage. Exodus 20:14, 17 “you
shall not commit adultery.” “you shall not covet your neighbours house; you
shall not covet your neighbors wife….”
Marriage is designed by God to last for a life time. Romans 7:2 “for the woman who has a husband is bound by law
to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husbands dies, she is released
from the law of her husband.” Till death do us apart echoes always….fear
God, respect your wife, living in humility and trusting God.
